Breaking Cycles: Former Foster Child Raises Three Sons, Now Grandmother Shares Her Story

 

When Tina Strambler held her firstborn son in her arms at twenty years old, she made a silent promise: she would give him everything she never had.

"He was mine," Strambler recalls. "Truly mine. Not the system's. Not a judge's. Not a caseworker's. He was a piece of me that no one could take away."

That moment in 1996 didn't just make Strambler a mother. It set her on a path of healing and breaking cycles that would define the rest of her life. Now, in her newly released memoir Raised by Strangers, Rebuilt by Love, she shares how motherhood transformed her—and how she became the parent she never had.

No Blueprint, Just Determination

Strambler's own childhood offered no model for healthy parenting. Born in Louisiana, she and her two siblings were sent to live with relatives in Midland, Texas, after their parents became unable to care for them. What followed was years of abuse—beatings with a nail-embedded paddle, forced standing for hours, psychological torment, and sexual violation.

"When I became a mother, I didn't know what a healthy mother-child relationship looked like," Strambler admits in her memoir. "I only knew what it wasn't. I knew it wasn't fear. I knew it wasn't confusion. I knew it wasn't feeling like you had to earn love."

What she did have was fierce determination.

"No generational curse, no trauma, no past mistake was going to touch my babies," she says. "I poured everything I had and everything I never had into them: love, consistency, routine, warmth, safety, affection, boundaries, support, encouragement, stability."

The Village That Taught Her How

While Strambler didn't have a model of motherhood from her biological family, she carried lessons from her 13 years at High Sky Children's Ranch in Midland—the place that raised her after she was removed from her abusive home.

Cottage parents taught her how to create structure. Counselors helped her process emotions. Routines gave her a sense of safety she had never known. All of it became part of how she raised her own children.

"I found myself repeating the things High Sky taught me without even thinking," she says. "'Put your laundry away neatly.' 'Everyone helps with dinner.' 'Make your bed every morning—it starts your day right.'"

Those weren't just chores, she realized. They were gifts of stability.

Three Sons, Three Teachers

Strambler and her husband Roderick, whom she met the night of her high school graduation, raised three sons: Darius, Dedrick, and Donovan. Each boy, she says, taught her something essential.

"Darius, my firstborn, taught me responsibility and purpose," she reflects. "He made me grow up fast and made me realize just how strong I truly was."

Dedrick, born in 1998 during a time of financial struggle, taught her balance and patience. Donovan, born in 2001 after they had weathered enough storms, taught her joy and gratitude.

Through each of them, Strambler learned something about herself.

"Every time I hugged my boys, a part of me healed," she writes. "Every time I tucked them into bed safely, a memory of my own unsafe nights softened."

Choosing Different

The choices of motherhood were never lost on Strambler. Every decision felt like a chance to either repeat the past or rewrite it.

"When I disciplined my children, I did it gently—with guidance instead of cruelty," she explains. "I thought about the punishments I endured—the beatings, the hours of standing until my muscles gave out, the dog bowl on the floor. And I chose something different. Every single time."

She thought about the nights she lay awake as a child, afraid of footsteps in the hall. So she made sure her children's nights were peaceful—tucked in, safe, loved.

She thought about the times she felt invisible, unseen, unheard. So she made sure her children knew they mattered—that their thoughts, feelings, and voices counted.

"I became the mother I wished I had," she says. "The protector I prayed for as a child. The safe place I needed growing up."

The Struggles Behind the Scenes

Being a young mother with no family to lean on was overwhelming at times. Strambler and Roderick struggled financially, counted dollars, and wondered if they were doing any of it right.

"There were nights I cried from exhaustion. Moments where I wondered if I was enough," she admits. "But Roderick and I always held on to each other, even when we were overwhelmed, even when we argued, even when we were barely holding it together. We didn't give up."

Watching Them Become Men

Today, Strambler's sons are grown. Two went off to college. One built a career and started a family of his own. All three became men with big hearts, strong values, and bright futures.

"Raising my three boys has been one of the greatest privileges of my life," Strambler says. "Watching them grow, watching them become men, watching them overcome their own obstacles and chase their dreams—it has been pure joy."

A New Generation of Healing

Now a grandmother of four, Strambler experiences a new layer of healing she didn't know existed.

"It is healing in a way that words can't describe," she says, "watching my grandchildren experience the love, the stability, the family foundation I worked so hard to create."

She thinks often of the cycles she broke—not just for herself, but for the generations that follow.

"I broke the cycles. I changed the story. I built the home I once dreamed of. And my children get to live in the warmth of that healing. That alone makes everything worth it."

A Message for Mothers Healing Themselves

For any mother who is parenting while healing—who is trying to give her children something she never received—Strambler offers this:

"You are not alone. You are not too broken. You are not too damaged to be the mother your children need. Every time you choose gentleness over harshness, presence over absence, love over fear—you are healing. Not just them. Yourself."

She pauses, letting the words settle.

"I became the mother I never had. And in doing that, I became the woman I was always meant to be."

About the Author

Tina Strambler lives in Midland, Texas, with her husband Roderick. She has worked in the oil and gas industry for 15 years and is a proud grandmother of four. Raised by Strangers, Rebuilt by Love is her first book.

Availability

Raised by Strangers, Rebuilt by Love is available now in paperback, hardcover, and eBook. For media inquiries, speaking engagement requests, or interview opportunities, please contact tinastram88@gmail.com or 432–528–0791.

Contact:

Authur: Tina Strambler
Wesbite: https://tinastrambler.com/
Amazon: Raised by Strangers, Rebuilt by Love: How Foster Care Saved My Life and Shaped My Purpose